Hannah Akrigg

I Am Not the Girl You Had in Mind

I am not the girl you had in mind 
I've seen her, 
How she walks in pride 
The one who never dares to hide 
And never forces herself to comply 
Oh how she never has to shy 
But I am not the girl you had in mind 
I am not the girl you had in mind 
I've heard her, 
A sweet smile, A true laugh 
She never has to measure her calf 
Her voice lights up the air 
She never worries about her hair 
But I am not the girl you had in mind 

I am not the girl you had in mind 
I know her, 
Oh I know her well, 
The small waist 
She never wants to be erased 
She can buy her clothes in a haste 
Never worried about distaste 
But I am not the girl you had in mind 

I am the other one 
The one who feels displaced 

The one who grasps her stomach 
Fingers interlaced 
The tired one, you know me 

That other girl 

That can't look at herself in a mirror 
Oh how her fears are getting nearer 
She whispers in a quiet voice 
Afraid to make the wrong choice 
My love for myself which was never there
My relationship with food I had to spare 
The one so caught up in the numbers 
She drives herself to despair
I am sorry for the lies you've been told 
And I am sorry for allowing you to be scold
About how you look and act 
For the ideas of us girls are so abstract 
We are all lied to in fact 

But in the end why do we care? 
Because they tell us if not we will be in despair
Truth be told we will drive ourselves mad
All for them to say we are not bad 
The numbers shouldn't matter 
So why do they cause us to scatter 
The world tells us so 
Why do they make us slow 

When they really should be praying for us to grow 

You can ask that girl that that you know
For she can tell you how to slow 

For none of us are really the girl you know
Those girls were lost long ago 

Truth be told they say we have to be brave
When really we are societies slave 

The confident girl you had in mind 
Only exists in your head redesigned 

When the world makes you want to flee
Do not look to me 

I am not the girl you had in mind

About the Author: Hi, I am Hannah Akrigg, 16 years old from Dysart, Saskatchewan. This is my free verse poetry piece, called “I Am Not The Girl You Had In Mind”. It is about how society has placed unfair standards on us as girls and how that has effected many of us in negative ways and how that has effected my life. I wrote this piece to remind other girls that they are not alone in their struggles, and no one is truly “perfect”.