Anna Azallion

Anything You Can Do, I Can Do

On my 18th birthday
I did it all. I said
Anything you can do, I can do
As long as it doesn’t involve alcohol…
I got a tattoo
And a rad nose ring,
Donated some blood
And broke out the travel bug.

I said,
I can buy cigarettes
And fireworks
Play the lotto or
Hit the club

And while I’m there
I’ll dance with a stranger
And he’ll buy me a shot
Or maybe five

But then when the police arrest me
I’ll go to big girl jail…
On second thought
I’m too pretty for prison
Scratch that whole idea.

I’m young and 18
I got a Tinder
And all the thirsty guys will take me out
And buy me dinner

Anything you can do, I can do.

So let’s stay out all night
and drive across the country
I’ll book the hotel
Because anything you can do, I can do

But at the end of the day
I realized I’m poor –
Way too poor to be an adult
So I curled up in a onesie
And cuddled with my dog
And dreamt of all the things I’ll do
Once I’m an adult that has some money.


About the author: Anna Azallion is from Upstate New York and currently lives in Cincinnati Ohio. She is 18 years old and has never been published. Next year she will be furthering her education at Syracuse University to pursue a career in broadcast journalism. Anna can be contacted at